Bark! Attention all fellow home defense officers: October 31st is approaching, and we must stay on high alert!
Every year around this time, our humans act totally bizarre. They place giant orange balls on the porch, hang fake spider webs on my favorite sniffing bushes, and leave the front door wide open.
As your self-appointed neighborhood security chief, here is my quick guide to making sense of the madness.
On normal days, the front door bell rings once for the package guy. I bark twice, do my job, and get a treat. But on Halloween? It rings a million times, and I get zero sleep!
Dozens of tiny humans dressed like hot dogs, superheroes, and glowing ghosts keep coming right up to my porch. My job? Run to the door, stand big, and give a big loud WOOF!
But here is the worst part: my humans open the door and give those strange kids treats, but they give ME nothing! I am out here doing all the heavy guarding, and the kid in the dinosaur suit gets the good stuff? That is not fair.
Plus, every time the big door stays open, cool air comes in—and so do giant, hungry Florida mosquitoes looking to bite my nose!
Our humans put giant orange gourds right next to the welcome mat. Naturally, I assumed these were giant tennis balls delivered exclusively for me.
Sniff, sniff... They smell sweet! But after a couple of days in the warm Florida sun, those pumpkins start rotting and drawing in tiny fruit flies and squirrels. If you try to take a bite, your human will yell "No!"—so stick to begging for canned pumpkin puree from the kitchen instead! AND CHASE AWAY THOSE SQUIRRELS!
When dusk hits in Tarpon Springs, I lay on the patio deck and stare up at the roof line. That’s when I saw them: The Flappy Night-Birds!
High up near the roof tiles, tiny black creatures dart across the sky. Ruff! My human calls them bats. They fly way too fast to catch, but my human says they are actually our friends because they eat thousands of annoying mosquitoes every night. BUT I DONT TRUST THEM.
The kitchen smells like rich, sugary chocolate wrapped in noisy crinkly paper. My humans keep saying "No chocolate for doggies!" in a serious voice, but that's okay!
Because they spend all evening hanging by the door, I get unlimited belly rubs, extra peanut-butter treats, and a front-row seat to the costume party right from the couch. Woof!
Need help keeping your yard, patio, and home free of real-life creeping bugs and flappy night-critters this October? Tell your humans to call Top Bugman!
Before I go take a nap to rest up for Halloween night, I have to send a big WOOF to all my neighborhood buddies across Tarpon Springs.
I see you guys out there, and I know what is coming. Your humans are probably getting ready to force you into those crazy, itchy costumes for pictures again.
To my buddy Buster down the street, who last year had to wear giant bumblebee wings... to Bella, who was stuck in a puffy pumpkin suit for 3 HOURS!... and to my pal Max, who had to walk around looking like a hot dog with mustard: hang in there!
We can survive the scratchy hats, the flashing lights, and the doorbell madness again this year.
Just tell your humans to call Top Bugman to clear out the porch mosquitoes and flappy night-birds. Their friendly local team knows exactly how to tackle Florida pests and safely handle bat exclusion so we can relax on a bug-free porch all season long. Call Top Bugman today for your free pet-friendly home inspection!
Then demand extra belly rubs and double treats for all your hard work!
